So I apologize in advance but this is kind of my pity post. I just feel the need to vent a little and I am not a big journal writer so I guess you lucky people will get to read my complaints and frustrations. I am just trying to find a way to maintain my sanity.
Do you ever stop and think that this is not where I pictured myself to be at this point in life? Sure I thought maybe I would be married and I am so happy that I am married to the most wonderful person. I just didn't think we would both be trying to finish school still and now living with the inlaws. I didn't think that Adam would be so miserable in his job because for the time being he is just kind of stuck. He is a good man who plugs along everyday to help provide for us and for that I am truley thankful. I thought maybe we would be in a house of our own maybe getting ready to start a family and that things would just fall into place.
Well here we are 24 and 25 and I know that we have years and years ahead of us but we are living with our inlaws trying, unsuccessful to this point, to save for a house, a place of our own. Looking at houses is very stressful. We still need to decide if we are going to build or buy a preexisisting home, figure out where we want to live, then we will need to find an agent if we don't build and that is just one more thing to try and find. Then there is the little tid bit that we don't have money saved up and would like to be in a better situation. Everyone tells us we need to buy now and that we can still get the tax credit but I just don't know if we are ready... will we ever be ready?
Here we are talking about starting a family but we do not want to be living with ALL of Adam's family (yes they are all at home. ugh!) and trying to squeeze our new born into the room we are currently living in. Then comes the same question that seems to come-up with every decision we are trying to make.... are we ready? Will we ever be ready?
Then there is school I was hoping to be done by now but there is a 5 year wait for the nursing program and then I will have to quit my job to finish that degree unless I decide to go to a private school that will cost more but offers night classes. Adam is going back to school and still has at least 4-6 years left so we need to get him finished with that and hopefully out of his job sooner than that.
I just feel a little overwhelmed and stressed lately and I can't seem to shake it. I don't know how much longer we can last at Adam's parents house. It has only been two months and we are already tired of it. It's not that we don't love our family it is just stressful to go from living by just the two of you to a house with 5 more adults.
I know this is a lot of complaining but I warned you :)
I am sure that you are wondering why we didn't move in with my family where I only have one sister left at home? That is a very long story but lets just say my mom didn't really understand.
I am not saying that I am not grateful for the things I do have or for the loving families we have both been blessed with it just seems as of late everything is going against us.
I guess I will just leave it at that for now and continue to go to church, say my prayers and ask for as many blessings from Adam as I can :) and hope that the Lord will help everything work out like it is supposed to.
Thanks for the vent I am starting to feel a little better.
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3 comments:
I'm sorry that you're having a hard time. We lived with Alex's family for a while (we only made it three weeks!) when we came back from California. We just couldn't deal with some of the things going on there. Living in someone else's house is always an adjustment and I'm sorry that you have to deal with it. If you do decide to look for a house, Alex's cousin is a real-estate agent. (The nice thing about being the buyer is you don't have to be the one to pay them!) Good luck with all of it. I know it's tough, but I also know that you're tough enough to handle it too! You're amazing and I believe in you! :)
I'm sorry! That stinks. We lived with my dad and step-mom for about a month before we moved to where we are now...and I know how hard it can be. I'm sure it's even harder when it's your inlaws and not your family. We loved our real estate agent and could give you her info if you want it too. You should come move by me in West Jordan....there's few townhomes available in our little cultisac! Anyway hang in there! It'll get better.
Thanks for the words of encouragement! I know things will work out it will just take a little bit of time. You gals are the best and I really appreciate your friendship and it is so nice to hear from those of you who have been through some of these trials. Thanks!
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